Seeking Bliss even in Darkness.......

I took these pictures while waxing Darkiee today. In the deep black and dark bonnet, i see reflections of sky with fluffy white clouds, giving me the soothing and blissful feel. I thought these pictures were pretty suitable to use to describe what I am going to blog next.

Most of my friends would have known by now that I have left HP 1 month ago. HP was not exactly a bad company, but the amount of pay i get every month does not justify the amt of work i was doing.

Recently, there is a very very very sad case about a HP staff who died due to work overstress:
1) http://kaiyan.multiply.com/journal/item/197
2) http://pinkmayflower.multiply.com/journal/item/140

This may be an isolated case and should not be used to condemm HP and her management. But well, what May described in her blog is definitely no exaggeration. Although mine was not as bad, but it really reminds me of the work conditions i was experiencing for the past 2 years. There were phases when I came home often in a v bad mood, as i carried my work stress to sleep and over the weekends. I dragged my feet to work in the mornings, fearing of opening up the mailbox and developed phobia of answering phone calls.

But of cos, there are many others who are able to cope well enough to survive, and those who cant would eventually find their way to the exit (like me). I was also reminded of Ven Pema's advice for me when i met him one fine evening in NUS, complaining about my sch work and stress (i was yr 2 or 3 then). He calmly said " Even when you are busy now, you can still seek peace and bliss within yourself "

May all of us be able to seek the bliss and peace in ourselves, even during the darkest days of our life. We must take good care of ourselves. And may May be reborn in a world with Dharma and less sufferings. Rest in peace.

Nice Car!!!

This evening when i reached home, i was so excited upon seeing this green car. This car is so old that it seems as if its going fall apart anytime! Several parts of the body are also severely corroded.

Nevertheless, i still view this car as a beauty of its own. I feel that it has a very nice unique stylo shape which makes it more interesting than those boring boxy + squarish type cars.

Alas, i bet this car is about 30-yr old. This shows that japan-made Datsun rocks. I wonder what will the green QQ behind looks like in 30yrs time. Probably it cant even last for 3 yrs ( i am serious!).

Sadly, I have to acknowledge the fact that my Thailand-made vios is definitely no match for my France-made Peugeot Partner. My Partner gets more and more powerful with speed, while the vios wobbles upon reaching 100km/h. The driving feel and shiokness of my Partner also wins my vios hands-down. Last but not least, the finishings and chassis of the Partner is super solid. The vios is pretty flimsy and plasticky. Worst of all, i could see parts from my engine with my bonnet completely shut, cos the front gaps are so big!

Army Days

I will be going back for my 4th reservice soon after a break of 5 years. My previous NS was done in 2002 when i was still staying in PGP.

I was enlisted in the army in the year 1997 This would mean all my barang barangs (ie. my helmet, uniform, field packs, boots etc) have been with me for almost a decade.

Nothing much has changed except for the fact that i am carrying now a big pot belly (which is pretty obvious in the last pic i posted). I was reminded of the slimmer waist line i used to have, LOL.

I was digging out all the items i will need for my NS from a big box which i have used to store my army barang barangs for the past decade. As I put on my boots, pulled up the laces, tied them into army knots, folded my slacks and stuffed everything under the gutters, I found i could put on my boots without any problem, despite the fact tt i havent touch them for 5 yrs. I guess there are certain things that have already been deeply drilled down into you - considering the fact i have been doing these actions for almost everyday in the 2.5 yrs spent in the army.

Putting on my boots gave me many memories. 1) The change parade which i was tekaned on during BMT - when we were ordered to change in between our army uniform and PT kits many times over within a 1 min time frame. 2) Those demoralising feelings i used to have when performing tying my boot lace early in the morning - sleepiness + sianness + ready to drag my feet to draw arms (rifles). 3) Outfields in the rain when u finally got the 'luxury' to untie your boot lace, remove your boots and let your feet out to breathe - after being soaked for hours or days in the damp and wet boots. 4) Encountered swamps when bashing thru the forests with your entire foot sank into the muds -> pull out your feet -> dig away all the smelly muds off your boot -> find a stream or river to clean away (not for the sake of cleanliness but to reduce the weight your feet have to take (muds can be v heavy).

As i showed my mum the webbings, i told her how many live rounds were kept in these pockets before. I was also reminded of an incident whereby i accidentally carried a live round back to the base in of my webbing pockets. Well how i manage to dispose it after that is another story - i nearly landed myself in the db/jail manz...

Watch the movie, or Read the film?

Blame it on my luck, but the movies i watched lately really sux. Other than "The Protege" which i thought is kinda more refreshing, the other movies i watched simply cnmi (TMNT, Golden Petal or watever, Mr Bean on Holidays, One Last Dance).

This evening, i went to watch the "Fracture" with a friend. The movie is about a man shooting his unfaithful wife, and how he outsmarted the prosecuter and escaped the punishments. At the end of the movie, i had some small discussions with my friend on the movie, to clarify on some parts which i didnt quite understand. I didnt quite agree with what my friend has interpreted the movie, and thought there were some parts which his understandings are not too correct.

"Its jus a very simple and straight forward movie... you think too much....." he exclaimed.

Well, seriously i think i have adopted the habit of reading films (instead of just watching films) ever since i took up the NUS Module "Film & History". I dun quite like the idea of just spending 8 to 10 bucks sitting down for 2hrs and purely letting your eyes do the work. Especially nowadays, there are more and more cheem films which require more indepth understanding, to truely appreciate the movie and get what the film director has to say. Even comedy films like Mr Bean on Holidays has a theme (not jus purely funny scenes and jokes).

True enough, I did a quick surf on the internet and got the light. The movie was not what my friend has interpreted (that simply). It requires some understanding about the english law. Now, the joy of watching a movie shld not be just limited to the 2 hrs of sitting in the cinema.

Perfect Company

It has been quite some time since i have written a proper entry. My recent entries were mainly made up of pictures, with the additions of some superficial comments and blabberings.

I have joined my present company (i m not naming it yet) for exactly 1 month today. Despite the fact that both my present coy and previous one are US MNCs, I am still unable to avoid experiencing a cultural shock. The management styles are totally different.

I remember my colleagues at HP always complained that the bosses do not care about them. Personally, I didnt get much attention from my manager in HP. It is a double edged sword - he gave me complete freedom to manage my own stuffs and gave me minimal disturbances at work. On the flop side, he was often not around when i needed the support and guidance. My first few mths in HP were terrible as i was pretty much like a lost sheep, aimlessly banging my head around, and i learnt my stuffs through the hard way.

At my present company, the colleagues are complaining that the managers 'care too much'. In my opinion, the managers here really micro-manages - which is quite a waste of resources. But on the positive side, at least they are around to guide you and show you the light. I believe this type of environment is best for fresh grads are young workers like me. What i need now is a solid manager who is willing to guide and lead me. I am glad my manager now is willing to do so.

HP is always well known for its good working environment. Indeed, the people in HP are nice (i mean my fellow team mates, not those cross functional team members who have work conflicts with me). My seniors were always very willing to guide and teach me. They are very patient ppl, compassionate and enthusiastic in sharing their knowledge with you. Somehow, it really applies to everyone in the department. I could hardly think of any exceptions. I guess its the culture there.

Unfortunately, colleagues in my present coy are often not very willing to teach and guide the new comers. Although they can be very friendly and chatty, the culture of helping the newbies is simply not there. They give very vague and incomplete answers when you seek their guidance. Its a very individualistic environment - "last time when i was new, my snrs treated me like this. So now, why shld i give special nice treatment to the newbies?" Nevertheless, we still hang out together during lunches, tea breaks, tok cok and gossip abt the managers (whole-day-long). After our paint-ball challenge, we r thinking of wake-boarding at batam later this month.

HP gives her workers superb working environment, superior office furnishings with teak wood, high chairs, LCD monitors, laptops, PCs, IP phones, orange lamps, thick carpets, coffee-bean-like pantries at every levels and corners of the building, solid gyms and a swimming pool + lots of outings, big foods, great gifts BUT VERY LOW PAY. My present company uses CRT monitors, lousy telephones, old and run down furnishings, NO PANTRY, NO Swimming pool, pathetic gym ... but most importantly Good Pay + Good Bonuses.

I have heard complaints in all the 3 companies i have worked in. People are always dissatisfied somehow (including myself). I believe there is no perfect company. In fact, we should be looking at 'whats most important to me now". From Delgro to HP, i was looking for greater exposures and learning opportunities - hence i took a huge annual pay cut to jump to HP. HP really gave me the exposure i want. Playing a regional role, i get to travel and work with people from all over the world. Moreover, i get to work with people from diff functional grps - marketing, sales, planning, production, r&d, service etc. After HP, i was looking more for money and also building a diversified job experience, and here i am......

to be continued (if i have the mood) ......

Presenting my new Colleagues

Just as I thought the ppl in HP were young and vibrant enough (as compared with Delgro), these ppl dealing with semiconductors are even more energetic and crazy.

We had a few rounds of paint-ball war games today at OCC. $55 in exchange of several bruises and shot marks - ouch (for both my skin and pocket).

Baby + Darkiee

Mirror Effects in Darkiee

After doing lots of research on car waxings and maintenance, and having tried quite a number of car wax, detailings and different cloth materials (terry cloth, microfibre, chamois), finally i managed to produce this wet-looking high gloss looks on Darkiee. It can now double up as a mirror, haha.